The Perfect Man For Everyone

Do I believe that there is a man out there for everyone ? A good genuine guy. Of course I do. We’ve seen and been told of how many bad guys there are out there. Even I am a victim of telling many women that. How bad guys are. However we never really take the time to sit down and appreciate the good guys. They say good guys are hard to find. The perfect cliche man you read about in the novels. The man you watch in the movies. Those chick flick movies that makes us girls see the world so differently. We fall in love with the idea of love, but we don’t know what love it. Love could be anything and it can come in any shape or form. So who are the good guys and where can we find them. Well for starters, you can't...they find you. You can’t go out searching for a good guy. Why is that you may ask ? Because we are searching for the perfect ideal man that our mindset gave us. We don’t go out searching for the good guy, we go out searching for the perfect man we read and watch about. That’s wrong. You want a good guy ? You start by letting him find you. Now how does that work ? It doesn’t.. It just happens. I’ve met many good guys that I’ve pushed away because I went out searching. I seeked him. I wanted to find my own perfect man. During my search I’ve pushed over so many good guys and I didn’t even know it. I was so caught up in finding the perfect man when He was chasing me all along. Standing right there in front of me. Instead I ignored him because he didn’t fit my criteria of my perfect man. He wasn’t good enough. He didn’t look like the other guys in the movies. That wasn’t how it worked. Guys are good, I’ve met them. Around Summer of 2016, I would go on many dates with many guys who didn’t know I was transgender. Why did I do that even though it was completely dangerous? I did it because it was how I was supposed to be treated. I saw the transition in how a guy would treat me vs after he found out i was trans. Let me share that with you. It starts with a compliment, exchange in numbers, then dinner reservation. Due to my gorgeous face as I’ve been told. I had the hottest guys in the palm of my hand. I was in love with the idea of being treated like a princess from the hottest guys who looks like they could be my prince. Those were the guys who fit the idea of love. The perfect man you would watch in the movies. The guys that hollywood would hire because he had charm and was the perfect eye candy to us girls. They did everything I would tell them to. Suit up for dinner I’d say and they’d do it. Drive miles to pick me up, they’d do it. Pay for my expensive dinner, and they’d do it. But what was their motive for this. Many things, It depends what their intentions with you were from the beginning. Sometimes they just want to get in your pants, sometimes they’ll want to know you. We never know….except I did. I’ve dated many guys enough to know how to pick them out. I can tell when a guy really wants me or just wants me for a night. I don’t know how I knew but i just always did. So what do I do about it ? I played along only for the rest of the night and I’ll never speak to them again. Sometime’s I’ll think I found the perfect man and so I’ll be good. Play the night out like a good girl. Now comes the tough part, telling them my secret. Usually the conversation will switch up real quick. It goes from me being the most gorgeous woman in the world to “you’re a boy?”. Of course I would have to break it down and that's when their true colors come out. But that still didn’t change anything. As sweet as I would be, They will immediately see me as a sex object. I’m no longer the girl they took out to dinner. Now I’m a science experiment. His “first time with a transgender girl”. It’s funny how that flipped very quickly. It’s like every respect they had for me was poof…..gone. Hearing that broke my heart. It made me think how much easier life would be if I had a vagina. If I didn’t have a deal breaker. If i could just be what they want. That's why I would date so much. One guy after another. I loved being treated like a princess. Guys treated me like that when they didn’t know a thing about me. I loved it. But see that was me chasing the perfect man. I went out with the guys that were perfect from the outside but weren’t as kind as how they were on the inside. What did that do to me ? It made me believe that all guys will reject me. It made me feel worthless. Made me feel that all I had to offer was an experiment for them. Remember how i said love comes in all shapes and form. Love sometimes won’t come in the form of “The Perfect Man” but maybe in the form of a friend who you will soon grow to love and that love will make him the most perfect man you could ever imagine. The kindness and love we all crave from a man. That could be yours. You can’t go finding it...It finds you. Little secret from me to you.